Relationships

What It Really Means To Marry From Your People

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I can vividly remember how the inspiration for this article came. Forgive me, but I feel I should share it as it will help drive home my point.

You must have heard people pass comments on how good it is for one to marry from among his people, which is, his tribe, and possibly his village.

I actually have a friend who holds this belief so close to his heart. While having a discussion with him some time ago, I asked what informed that decision. The summary of all he said was that he wants his children to enjoy the cordial relationship him and his siblings enjoyed with his mother’s people because of proximity. His mum was from the same village as his dad.

This and many other reasons are what you’ll hear people give for wanting to marry from their tribe. There are even funnier responses that people give.

Now, back to how the inspiration for this article came. I was gisting with my husband some weeks after our wedding and he was passionately explaining to me how dumb it is to insist that one must marry from his tribe, particularly, his village. Suddenly this understanding hit me and I said to him.

“There’s really nothing wrong with insisting that one must marry from his people. It is only proper that that happens. The question is who one’s ‘people’ really are?”

Indeed, the puzzle lies in identifying who one’s people truly are. The Bible was not silent on this. When Abraham wanted to take a wife for Isaac his son, he insisted that she must come from his people.

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Let’s take a look, shall we…

And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.

And Abraham said unto the eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: 

 And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: 

 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.” Gen 24v1-4. (KJV) 

Even though Abraham was in Canaan because God had asked him to leave his people and move, he still knew who his people were. They were not the people he was dwelling with. It had nothing to do with proximity to himself.

The Canaanites didn’t have regard for God at the time, and so the last thing Abraham wanted to do was take a wife for his son Isaac from there. He was careful to take a wife for Isaac from his people, that is, the people that had the same reverence and regard he had for God.

The question now is, who are your people? If you understand who your people truly are, there won’t be any point arguing or quarrelling about marrying or not marrying from one’s tribe or your people.

Even Jesus was not mistaken about who His family was…

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While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him.

Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee. 

But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? 

And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! 

For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.” Matt 12:46-50 (KJV)

As far as Jesus was concerned, the criteria for being enlisted in the people that can be called His people is that the person must be one who does the will of His Father. For one to do the will of His Father, it means the person already acknowledges God as his/her own Lord.

Do you still need me to spell out who your people are? Smiles…

They are individuals that share the same faith with you. They are the ones with whom you share the same Lord with. Wherever this person is located on planet earth, they are your ‘people’ and you shouldn’t begin to have a rethink about going into a marriage relationship with them if every other thing is in other.

Your true family are people you share the same faith with and has nothing to do with proximity to their villages. They are the ones you should consider ‘doing’ marriage with.

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